Artemis Fowl Meets Transformers(Humanized)
by Greek Geek 55555
Summary: Well this is my fist Fanfic so please read and review. This is about a roleplay game my friend and I do. Artemis Fowl meets the humanized Transformers and others. Where Artemis Fowl is you can be sure trouble will follow.


I do not own any of the characters found in this, well i do have a couple of OC's but that's it.

By Ambersage Champlin

A large group of people has befriended Butler and me. We first encountered them upon returning from steeling a picture known as _The Fairy Thief_. We ran into a tall man, yet not as tall as Butler. He was transporting a kid who obeyed his command and was trying to chew his arm off; he later introduced himself as Jetfire. What a peculiar name I thought. So I had Butler go and have a chat with Jetfire and find out what was wrong and if we could help. I stayed and got some well-needed information from the tall one, who told me his name was Erik Night. When Butler did not come back, I went to see what the hold up was. We had a dilemma, their were locks imbedded into Jetfire's wrists and ankles. The only way to obtain them was to get the key away from a fellow named Jazz. Now I knew only one person for the job LEP Captain Holly Short. Now Holly erased my mind and restored it again all in a year, she was the closest person I had to a friend, besides Butler, we both had one of each other's eyes, we have saved each other's lives on more then one occasion, and we spent three years saving an island in space together. Yet she will not answer my calls, even Foaly stopped reacting to my phone calls. So I had Jetfire lend me his and said key words to set the LEP sensors off. Holly pretended not to be happy to see me but I knew she was. With her new Section Eight shimmer suit she could not be seen, not even by me, which is what we needed to help Jetfire. I watched her progress through her iris-cam she put over her human eye. She waited silently and over herd Jazz and a blue and silver haired guy who made Mulch look normal size talk about how Jazz is just pretending to spy on his friends and really spying on the Eliet Guard who ever that is. Apparently, Jetfire, the blue and silver haired guy, who I found out, is Blurr, and Jetfire's brother Jetstorm can see through Holly's shield. Jazz could see through it if he had his sunglasses on. Holly while waiting got her Neutrino 3000 ready to shoot. She approached him when she got the all clear to try to _mesmerize _him, but it did not work so she flew out the window.

"I can't get through his mind is to strong." she pulled off her helmet and wiped her forehead. "Foaly, you need to update the air conditioner on my helmet." she scoffed into the helmets microphone. Jazz was starting to head out side my guess was to see what was going on. When he was in complete view, Holly shot him with her Neutrino 3000 that just stunned him for a while. While he was unconscious Jetfire took his keys and looked through each one, then Holly picked up a name bracelet that he was wearing which reminded me of the one Jon Spiro wore. Holly ripped it from his wrist.

"Now really who needs a bracelet to let people know who you are?" and then Jetfire jumped a took the bracelet from Holly, he moved to fast that it made Butler almost pull out his Sig Sauer and shoot him. Jetfire pulled out a key from behind the bracelet and unlocked one of his imbedded restraints. Then he let out a moan.

"It only unlocks the one," he grumbled.

"Who has the other ones?" I asked trying to be sympathetic.

"I don't know." his answer was more of a whine.

Then a blue haired guy came out with two girls all three about my age that I may have exaggerated a little. The one with blue hair was Jetstorm and with him were Shawnee and Erin, apparently those two's girlfriends. When we started to leave the Erik fellow tried to stop us but Butler took care of him. We arrived at a broken down orphanage and when we went in there were tons of people the first one we met was Ironhide he did not seem like the greatest host but was still decent. A man with red hair came sliding in and scared Butler so he pulled out his gun. This caused Ironhide to pull one out also.

"Put your gun away," he said, "This is Dino," he pointed to the half-scared man lying on the floor. Then what looked to be a teenage boy with yellow and black came sputtering to a stop behind Dino. Butler grasped the but of his gun, "No need," he pointed this time at the yellow and black haired one, "This is Bumblebee." Butler took his hand away from his gun. Moreover, what is it with the weird names; well I have no room to talk. Later I made the mistake of touching Ironhide and realized he was a physic, later I found out that he was not the physic but the retracer and that the orphanage had vampires in it. We gave Juliet a call and she was on her way, and until she showed up Butler, Holly and I went to sleep in the daytime. Later Juliet came and Foaly and Commander Root were there, Root died a few days later at the hands of Opal Koboi, I miss him, anyway they were out side and had a time stop up and well Ironhide went out there and put another shield up, how stupid is that. Finally, Root took down the time stop and left. While that was happening, Holly found Mulch and he was in some tunnel built by K.T. who I met later. Mulch nearly took off someone's head off. When we managed to get Mulch off the person K.T. pulled me out of the tunnel and pushed me against a wall threatening me. Butler pulled out his gun and Ironhide jumped in front of her no doubt they love each other, I shall test that theory later. "Go ahead shoot." Ironhide had turned silver, Iron of course.

"You know that these bullets can go through pure iron right?" Butler aimed up his shot but not wanting to hurt him. He shot and it pinged right off of him, then K.T. punched me, which really hurt. The next night or morning whatever they call it, Jetfire told us that Jack a person who talked in his sleep said something in a different language and when he told use what he said Holly and I knew he just spoke Gnomish. It was bad really bad. Then there was a commotion out side and a vehicle transformed into a robot.

"Now I know how every one else feels." Butler said laughing. Bumblebee another physic took the robot somewhere and came back with a human his name was Francisco. After Butler was sure that he was not going to harm me Butler put his gun away. After thinking, it through I found away to help Jetfire get free, and Butler did not like it. Jetfire and I were going to be taken to the House of Night and from there I was going to need Holly's help. She was going to lay low and try to get all the information she can. On our departure, I saw a man who I recognize as Dragon following us. We allowed ourselves to be captured. I was put in a cell and waited for what Holly could do, I was kept company by Shadow the shadow leader I called him a king. Later I got a message from Holly saying she was caught so I asked Shadow to get me out. It did not do me much good because I ran into Jazz and he put cuffs on me in my struggle I blurted out what Holly over heard and he assured me that the safest place for Jetfire was the House of Night. I tried to chew through the cuffs with no success so Jazz zapped me and I was out cold. So there I wait for Holly to get free. When she did, she grabbed me and took both of us back to the orphanage. She kept in contact with Blurr about what happened to Dragon. Butler told me Ironhide awoke me and when I did my reflex was to punch up and Butler put his had out so I wouldn't punch Ironhide who had turned iron, earlier that day I accidentally punched Jetfire when I woke up from being punched by K.T. I knocked on K.T.'s door and she was not pleased to see me, all the commotion attracted Ironhide and Butler accompanied me. I asked what she was doing and she said I did not need to know, so I had Butler perform a lie detector test and this was my chance to get a good laugh. Butler asked K.T. and I asked Ironhide.

"You no Hornet could teach him some manners right Bee?" asked Ironhide and I really could care less because people have tried to give me manners, what people don't know is I choose to be this way and I do have manners I just act like this.

"Are you doing anything illegal in your room?" Butler asked.

"No." Steady pulse, truth.

"Do you have a crush on Ironhide?" Butler and I exchanged a look.

"No," her pulse was going fifty to the dozen, false.

"Do you have a crush on K.T?" I smiled.

"Yes," steady, true nice.

"Now Miss. K.T. may I see what you were doing in your room?" She let me through and long and behold she had a stash of Fairy equipment in her room.

"Jack has some to," she protested.

"I already got him." I said with a smirk. Just then, Dragon came back but had changed and was headed strait for K.T. and I was in the line of fire. Butler grabbed my arm and pulled me away just in time not to be squished. Dragon took off with K.T. and a blond girl with pink streaks followed suit. Juliet was still monitoring the iris-cams of Jazz and Blurr. A few hours later Blurr came and tried to take Ironhide but was unsuccessful so he left. Half-hour later he returned with a friend and they were looking through the house for Ironhide. When they reached our room Butler had his gun pointed at Blurr as he looked around our room he moved Juliet and then me.

"I'm not going to try to move you," he said to Butler.

"Don't touch my sister or Master Fowl again." Butler grumbled. With that, he left. Concerned for our safety I asked Holly if we could go down to Police Plaza to hide out until this blows over. She neutralized everyone except for Butler, Juliet, and me to get there. After awhile in there Bumblebee realized we forgot Francisco. Therefore, Holly went and got him then Bumblebee said there was another one and his name was Fresno or Frezzy as Holly had said. Therefore, I went out to find him it was easy.

"Um Frezzy?" I asked.

"Call him Fresno," hissed Bumblebee in my ear.

"Fresno uh I'm here to get you to a safe spot." he did not trust me at first but then got used to it.

"Can I fit as I car?" my plan had a hole in it great.

"Probably, just follow me." I turned around and Blurr and his friend were coming great. "Get out of here!" I yelled at Fresno and planted a tracker on his hood. I ran and tackled Blurr and sat on his chest, then he began to spin his wheels and gave me a burn on my leg and his friend went after Fresno. I went back to the portal and got Butler, Holly, and Bumblebee he tried to weasel out of it. We followed the frequency of the tracker and found Fresno hanging upside down on a tree branch. We were too late though they took Fresno and took him back to the House of Night. Just where I want them, my plan was unfolding brilliantly. I told Holly that it was safe for them to come back up. I gave Holly her orders and she was quick about it. All who was left was Jazz and a man named Preceptor was his controller. We had mostly every one outside a shack looking place and Jetstorm went in I followed in the shadows. Jetstorm was put in a tube and was knocked out; I came out of my hiding place.

"Preceptor?" I was not sure but knew it was he when he turned around. He pressed a button, spikes were around my feet one wrong move, and I would fall and die. He was about to press the one that would knock me out and kill me. Therefore, I held out my C Cube and told it to shut down the power, which worked.

"What did you do?" he was choking me.

"Lock, I turned off your power so if you kill me you can't restore your power." he just laughed and let Jetstorm out. It looked like him it had the same powers as him but it was different, evil. Jetstorm started to freeze me alive and out side out of the corner of my eye, I could see the ripples of the time stop. "This one only listens to me but I could make one to obey you." I prompted even though I would never do that. Then he smiled and I started to melt it was Shawnee and Jetfire melting me and Erin and Damien were using there powers to try and over power Jetstorm. It was failing. The spikes retracted and Preceptor stopped me.

"You turn on the power I let Jetstorm free. Deal?" I nodded

"You go first." I did not trust him. We argued back and forth then we concluded that we would go on three and we did. However, I was tricked he did not turn Jetstorm back so I was about to turn the power off when the C Cube was knocked out of my hand and broke. Luckily, Holly was there to fix it and I turned the power off. Every one was doing there best to get him back, the Jetfire called him stupid, and he came back. Then Preceptor grabbed hold of Jetstorm and was choking him, I tossed him a sleeping pill but he could not get it to his mouth. Jetfire sent a ball of fire hurling toward Preceptor and he let go of Jetstorm. He took the pill and so did every one else and then lastly I gave the signal and went down as well. When we came to Preceptor and Red Alert were gone, probably not dead but at least there gone for now. The Jet twins set Jazz free and Holly went home to under ground with Mulch who had too much fun with Happy. We got back and K.T. put me in a headlock and gave me what she called a noogie.

"Please let go Miss. K.T." I pleaded but kept my cool. She tightened her grip.

"Don't call me Miss. Call me K.T." She squeezed harder.

"Okay K.T. let me go." she let go, and I straightened my hair back. Bumblebee came back with some one who looked similar to him.

"This is Hornet my brother." so that is him.

"Hello," his voice was scratchy and had a tad accent.

"I'm Artemis Fowl the Second," Butler came up beside me. "This is Butler, my bodyguard."

"Hello, I'm Hornet." his voice a little better. Hornet started to talk about trying to turn Bumblebee into a prince.

"I just gave up.," said a probable hung over Snow White, I do my research.

"Why ever for Snowy?" she scowled at me.

"Don't call me Snowy," she growled.

"Okay Snowflake, Snowbird, White night-" I was cut off by Hornet.

"If a lady doesn't want to be called something then don't call her it." He practically yelled which scared me out of my wits.

"Sorry Snow." I said even though it was not sincere.

"If you're going to say it say it nicely." Hornet was calmer now.

"Okay, Sorry Snow." I little bit sincerer. Man Holly would have loved to see that.

"Good enough." thank goodness he did not make me say it again.

"You would have made me say it again," said an unsatisfied Bumblebee ready to sting.

That night I went to bed in the orphanage and thought about if they knew what I have done and what I really was like if they would kick Butler, Juliet, and me out. Well there are something's that are to important to let others know so I think I will keep them to myself until I am one hundred percent sure that I can trust them. I may look twelve but I am really fifteen.

The next morning or night, Damian was trying to out word me he failed. Jack was pestering me about how the fairy technology worked. I think I even made new dwarf friends Bashful, Stealthy, and Happy, but I think Happy belongs to Ironhide. Mulch on the other hand I think has grown to like the little dwarf. Butler likes them just because they will not blast his head off with their dwarf abilities. I taught Stealthy a little thing or two about how to be a real pro at sneaking, I helped Bashful set boobie-traps around the place, and Happy was trying to get me to participate in a smiling contest, which was out of the question. Butler thought he was going to step on one of them. The evening was a little sour thanks to K.T.

"Isn't Artemis a girl's name?" I have explained this a million times.

"Yes, but it's also my fathers name and we were named after the Greek Goddess of hunting Artemis also the goddess of the moon. Yes, the name is originally a girl's, but then there comes along a male worthy of the name by having extraordinary talents, as of myself." K.T. was probably expecting just a yes or me getting embarrassed. Butler stood by me just in case she tried to punch me again. If only she knew the power I, posses even Holly Short does not know but I am prepared to tell her. K.T. on the other hand I do not trust enough to let her know all my secrets.

"Oh by the way your eye color reminds me of a demon I know," she growled at me, still satisfying.

Later that evening I met two fellows named T.J. and Cole; they wanted to show me something out side. I went out to the back yard and was splashed by a wave of water, there was a pool in the back and there was T.J. and Cole laughing in the water.

"We got you little man," said one.

"Ha, not so genus now is ya?" fallowed the other.

"Its Genii and you two aren't the smart ones." Butler's shadow was enough to get T.J. and Cole to stumble out and apologize. I smiled with satisfaction. Under a shady tree there was Jack he was mumbling something if it was anything like last time then I need to here this.

"Opal is back, she won't stop till Artemis Fowl and Holly Short pay for putting her behind bars. She will get revenge and when she does; neither fairy nor human is safe." The young vampire repeated repeatedly in clear gnomish. I nudged him with my foot, which startled him. "I do something?" he asked unaware that he just spoke clear gnomish.

"You talked in gnomish again, it's nothing good," I sat next to him he seemed started still. "It was about Opal getting revenge on myself and Holly, what was your dream like?" I was intrigued that he knew gnomish and was warning us about Opal.

"I was in a tear drop shaped metal thing and there were three people in there with me I think twins and a girl, the girl and the twins had big heads and big eyes and they were short." I knew what he was talking about the ship that Opal was in when we put her behind bars for good, maybe his brain is getting up to speed so it can familiarize Jack with Opal.

"That girl is a pixie, who had surgery to make her self look human, and the two others were pixie twins which are rare their the only ones, their names are Mervall and Descant Brill. They worked for Opal." Jack looked terrified, I do not blame him Opal is scary especially when she is trying to kill you.

"Hey Pixies are like Transformers." I shook my head.

"Not following you here." I had no idea what he was talking about and that was rare.

"Twins, Transformer twins are rare just like you said Pixie twins are rare." I nodded in agreement. I felt as if I could trust the little sleep talker, so I took a risk not something I do very often.

"I need to speak with you in private it is of very importance." Jack got up and nodded.

"Lead the way Artemis." I had him follow me to a bunker far from the orphanage. "Uh, does he have to be here?" he pointed up to Butler who was following us with his gun pointed in every direction.

"You can never be too careful Jack." he nodded and sat on the musty floor. Then I told him of all my adventures and that I may look twelve but I really am fifteen almost sixteen. He laughed when I told him of my departure to the past to save my mother:

N°1, my demon-warlock friend with the orange eyes like K.T., told us that if we did not want to be the same color as our clothing we had to take our clothes off, Holly and I objected but we finally did. We were allowed to wear something that was the same color as ourselves, she wore a one-piece suit, I wore my under wear for safe measures. N°1 had us join hands which was awkward for both of us when we were about to decent he said, "I now pronounce…" we scowled at him, "you Man and Elf." and we were gone. I did not want him to know that Holly kissed me so I left that out.

Jack got a kick out of it but when I got serious, he stopped his laughing fit and listened closely.

"You can never ever tell anyone, not even your boyfriend, they will find out by my wishes or not at all." he nodded but had a pout.

"Okay and you trust me to do that?" I nodded once. We left with out another word. When we got back Damian was worried about Jack not so much me.

"Where did you two go?" and they called him a smart one?

"Well Jack and I departed to partake in some intellectual colloquy of proportionate adversaries." now I think I have dumbfounded the simpleton.

"Um okay?" I have achieved what the other residences of this building have failed to conquer.

"Wow, Artemis your probably the new walking dictionary." I brushed off the compliment. "You should meet my friend N°1 now he loves to list off words and he can do it in every language ever known." Damian was curios now, probably about the name, and how he knew every language ever known. The rest of the evening, I was repainting _The Fairy Thief _for the manor. My newfound friends knew little who I was or what I do, but I am still cautious about business, I do not want them knowing just yet.

"Hey uh Artemis," Jack was standing in the doorway just as I finished packing my painting. "Do you think you could tell me what I said?" he leaned against the doorframe fidgeting with his cell phone.

"I think you deserve to know since your technically helping us with our Opal problem." I motioned for him to sit in a chair adjacent to the edge of the bed. "Okay you said, _'Opal is back, she won't stop till Artemis Fowl and Holly Short pay for putting her behind bars. She will get revenge and when she does; neither fairy nor human is safe.' _Over and over well till I woke you." he looked pale. "Every thing okay?"

"Yeah um could you say that in English please?" he raised an eyebrow. I said it in gnomish.

"Yeah," I told him what he said this time in English. "Maybe I could tech you gnomish so you could understand me, and I could help with your non-remembrance problem." he nodded gratefully.

"That would be nice." it was true I guess the great Artemis Fowl the second was turning soft but their was still some of his old self their just waiting be active again.

"First lets see what's going on in your head their, but lets go somewhere where I wont have trouble thinking." he nodded in agreement. I called up Holly to come and help me, she must have been doing fieldwork because she got here quick. I took Jack to a beach and during the night, it is inactive.

"So why did you need to call up your pixie again?" I shook my head and looked at Holly.

"Listen here Mud Boy, I am not a pixie I am an elf LEPrecon officer Captain Short. Pixies my be cute but are evil, Opal Koboi is a pixie, see what I mean." Holly is offended when people call her a pixie mainly because Opal killed Commander Julius Root right in front of Holly. If only I killed Opal Koboi when I went back in time, eight years to save that lemur, then Julius would still be here and Holly would be Major Short right now and not Captain Short.

"Plus there are some physical differences between elves and pixies, for one pixies are self absorbed while elves put their friends and family first. Pixies have a big head, tiny legs, and tiny lungs elves on the other hand have longer legs and a bigger repertory system. Pixies are to smart for their own good and elves are smart but know when it's gone too far." I patted Holly on the back, "am I right Captain?" She smiled in return.

"Okay down to business," Holly took Jacks head in her hands and started to look into his mind, "I know now, all you need to remember what you say and do when you sleep is a little jolt of magic in your head to unclog your brain." Holly let go of Jacks skull and popped her neck, such an unruly habit, then she put her hands on his head and blue sparks exploded from her fingertips. "Better?" she asked when the sparks disappeared into his head.

"Yeah but I wont know if it worked till tomorrow, I still would like to learn gnomish though so I could understand my dreams." I walked over to him and patted his back.

"You just did my friend," I told him in gnomish, he still has a ways to go until he masters the accent. "Bravo."

"Cool," he shook my hand and stopped talking in gnomish, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me thank Holly," I pointed to Holly who was sitting on a rock. "She was the one who used her magic." he went over to Holly, shook her hand, and said thank you in gnomish, which sounds like he was coughing up a hairball.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO JACK?" Damian came from behind a shack. "He's speaking some weird language. Did you hurt him?" I shook my head.

"No he wanted to learn gnomish and remember his sleep talking so I had my friend Captain Short help him with that." Jack came up to Damian and hugged him, at that moment Damian looked at me and mouthed 'we need to talk, here tomorrow okay?' he patted Jack but did not let his gaze leave mine; I nodded once and turned to face Holly. "Find past Opal yet?" I asked in gnomish so Damian would not know.

"Not yet Artemis but it's just like Opal to bust her self out so we have a LEPrecon officer watching her cell in Atlantis twenty four seven. Artemis?" she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes," Holly looked worried and stressed.

"Thanks again for every thing and we don't know what the repercussions of this will do." I did not leave her gaze, I just couldn't.

"Could their still be hope, that if we lock up past Opal that Root will still live or would she still kill him?" if I have learned anything about Holly its that she thought of Julius as a father.

"Foaly says that it's a possibility but we can't take any chances letting past Opal stay here, when we catch her she will be mind wiped and sent back to her time to do all those evil things, but we'll stop her." I did not doubt that for a minute. She gave me a brief hug and put up her shield then she was gone.

"Hey Artemis, you and Holly are awesome." Jack said as he went back to the orphanage with Damian, "aren't you coming?" He waved for me to fallow them.

"I'll meet you guys their I'm just gonna sit here for a while." Jack just shrugged.

"Suit yourself" and he and Damian were gone, I was alone well except for Butler who was in the shack by the shore.

I sat their thinking and scheming, if I was Opal and I still wanted the lemur what would I do? That's it! I am just like Opal so what would I do? "I got it!" I yelled which alarmed Butler.

"Got what Artemis?" I walked toward him quickly their was not time to spare.

"Oh old friend do you trust me?" he knew that when ever I asked him that it was not good.

"Yes, Artemis what are we gonna do?" I shook my head.

"Not we my friend, me. I know what Opal is going to do and how, but I need a cover for the folks down at the orphanage. Because if I'm not back before morning their gonna worry well I know Jack will so tell them I had family matters to attend to." Butler shook his head.

"If that were true then I would be accompanying you." I thought for a minute, why would I leave Butler behind on a family trip.

"Butler, old friend, I know you don't like to speak of your past, but is their a place where you've been banned?" I slight smile crossed his lips.

"New Jersey," he folded his arms, "What are you up to Artemis?" I looked up at him.

"It's completely legal, and all I want you to do is lie to the people who ask about me." I slid on my reflected sunglasses. "Can you do that for me old friend?" he was hesitant to nod. Letting the principal go somewhere where he could die was not something a good bodyguard would do but Butler has broken many rules like that, and has let me go it alone before. Unlike before I am not sure I will be back, but I would not tell him this.

He allowed me to go it alone, but demanded I take a gun. I called Holly and told her I was heading up to Tara and to meet me their.

"What now Artemis?" she looked tired but still glad to see me.

"I know what Opal is planning to do and when." she shook her head.

"You just now bothered to say this?" I shook my head and pulled out the piece of paper, which had what Jack has been saying in his sleep, of course in gnomish.

"He wasn't referring to our Opal it was the past Opal he was talking about, and it's in code." she ripped the paper out of my hand and examined it.

"This Mud Boy must have been _mesmerized _by past Opal, but why Jack, how did she know you would be their to here the message?"

"It started as soon as I arrived, she was waiting for me." While I was putting the pieces together past Opal surprised us and took us to the Eleven Wonders of the world again, and with the help of some shadows we except again. We ended up in Ironhide's room.

"Let us out let us out come on let us out." I kept on yelling and then Ironhide came and was mad that we were in their, he threw me out but let Holly walk out. Holly and I traced Opal to a ship called the Steel Haven.

"If Jetstorm steps over that crack in the floor I will switch him on." ha their was a hole in that and Butler and I figured it out. So, Butler grabbed Jetstorm and had him hover above the floor.

"He did not _step _over now did he?" I was amazed by myself.

Preceptor choked me yet again. Ironhide saved me from choking to death. Butler had a tracker put in his hand. N°1 was in danger so was Jetstorm. They have horses out back and I rode one, flew off it, and broke my leg. I was leaning against the fence when a big horse named Pogo decided I was friendly and wanted me to pet him. Ironhide blames me for Jack talking nonstop in gnomish. Jetstorm started to turn evil again and from out of nowhere, someone is playing the trumpet really bad, and it was shorting out Jetstorm. It stopped and there came a man with a trumpet in his hands, later followed a bunch of others. One named Hawkeye started to make fun of my name so I threatened him; Hornet said he would allow it since he is a guy to. Which caused Holly to call me Arty, Ironhide called me BBF (Basket Ball Fowl) and I called him by his middle name and initials. Later I was working on my painting and I found out Ironhide can talk to me mind wise. He kept on torturing me until I got Bumblebee to take it off. Then Ironhide sent sticky notes and asked me if I loved Holly, which I do not so there. During the morning/night, someone snuck in.

"Are you allowed in here?" he seemed to be surprised by me.

"Who are you?" he looked less startled but ready to kill me.

"An enemy to Ironhide." which was not very true.

"Then we're on the same page then." I nodded.

"I'm Artemis Fowl the Second." I twitched the corner of my mouth.

"I'm Sideswipe Suvious the First I guess." I smiled a little. He said he had a way for me to torture Ironhide so I took the offer, but he did not know that I was bluffing. He slipped up stairs and came back with Happy.

"I know just where to put him." I put Happy in a sack and took him to the Eleven Wonders of the world, but the Trolls their were tamed and would not hurt Happy. What Ironhide doesn't know won't kill him. I finished my reproduction, sent the real one to an Ireland museum, and kept the fake. When everyone left to get Happy, I went home with Butler to get my brothers, Beckett and Myles my two-year-old twin brothers. When we came back, Myles was still upset I blew up Professor Primate. They went to bother the dwarves and as soon as they left, Ironhide threw a knife at me and it scraped my knee. I fixed it and my brothers went to attack Ironhide. They were handed to the Jet twins so he would not hurt them. The knife Ironhide used left shards of metal in my knee but I took them out and dropped them on the floor, which caused Jetfire to heat me up a little bit.

After a while, Opal and the Brill brothers showed up and they wanted Jack. Hornet thought I was being impolite to a regular girl but for thinking that he was stabbed in the stomach by Opal who got away. Jetstorm took Jack but Jack was not himself at the time. I assured him that he was under Opals control. I tracked Opal to Ironhide's room, great I knocked.

"Go away." really come on I am trying to do the right thing here.

"No, Opal is in your room, just look at the radar scan." I sent him a mental image but he still didn't believe me. So, he was taken to the Steel Haven.

"Jetstorm how's Jack and are you safe?" I asked sitting next to Ironhide's room.

"We're fine." that's a relief.

"Is their anyone else besides you and your brother that they might want?" I felt tired and looked like it to.

"Blurr and Damian." I found Jetfire and had him take Damian and Blurr to his brother for safety reasons. I followed and the person their was not really happy about us being their, so the Jet twins took everybody to someone's house where it would be safe.

"I don't like facing my past," whined Jetstorm.

"You have to eventually and now's better then any, and trust me I kn-" he cut me off and hung up on me. I tried again later and the same result. I called Jetfire and tried with him and he hung up. I called again.

"What?" they were in trouble.

"Just thought you should know that Opal is right above you." that is all I have to say before I was knocked out and sent to the Steel Haven.

"Hello Preceptor, you know you can't win right so why don't you just set Ironhide and me free and you can admit defeat." he shook his head.

"No," I called Jetfire and had him listen to our conversation. "Why would I do that when Ironhide is going to bring the Jet twins to me?" I hung up and Preceptor took my ring phone. I tried to get through to Ironhide but I couldn't, then I yelled as hard as I could, and he heard it. I got bored, tortured Ironhide, and warned him that Preceptor could see and hear every thing he and Jetstorm saw and heard and that it was not safe for them to be there. Opal came back and when she was satisfied she gave me my first order I did not like it one bit.

"Kill Captain Holly Short." oh no, I tried to fight it but couldn't. It took me a while to find her and when I did, I could not hurt her.

"You should run now Holly." then blank I was out cold. When I woke up their was one thing on my mind, _what happened to Holly?_ "Holly are you okay?" I yelled and sat up. She walked over to me and told me every thing was fine. I told Ironhide again that Preceptor could see and hear them and I had an idea.

"Since he can see everything you can," I did what any normal teenager would do, mock him with my hands by my ears and saying, 'na na na na,' real mature I know. Preceptor was pretty mad because he made Ironhide hit me with his hand of iron, I just laughed.

"I'm so sorry, he made me do it." that just made me, laugh more. I healed myself and did the unthinkable.

"This is the worst insult if a dwarf does this to you," I turned my back to Ironhide, and pulled down my trousers and then up again. I ran from Ironhide laughing and hid behind Holly, who is shorter then me.

"I hate you." I bent over laughing it was just too funny. After a while we decide to leave Jetstorm and Ironhide their for the time being. I started to hear Opals voice in my head. "Is it normal to hear Opals voice in my head." someone named Red Alert said it was and not to worry. We landed by the orphanage and picked up Butler, Juliet, Happy, Jetfire and Jetstorm's cats, and N°1. N°1 and I tried to teach K.T. how to speak gnomish. Then Holly and I talked about the time paradox that could happen if we killed Opal or let her off clean. We went back to pick up Jetstorm and Ironhide. Ironhide apparently beet poor Jetstorm to a pulp.

"I have a lucky guess where Ironhide might be, the Steel Haven perhaps." I was correct. We landed on top of it and Butler had me change into my Alfonse character and dress up like a normal teenager.

"As soon as we get back to the ship I'm gonna put my suit back on." Butler just cocked a smile. We found Ironhide in a room and he was now five years old. To cover our trails I put up a hologram of Ironhide and then wiped our presence from the cameras, clever I know. We headed to my home in Dublin for a while. While everyone was outside, Holly and I were talking.

"So you're not going to tell them the whole truth, are you?" I shook my head and rubbed my temples.

"Of course not because the kiss was an accident, right Holly?" I looked up at her unaware that Ironhide was listening.

"Yeah just an accident." she avoided my gaze.

"Yeah because inter species dating would be…" I could not find the right word, which has never happened until now.

"Awkward." suggested Holly.

"Yes awkward." but the truth was I did have feelings for Holly but I blew it when I lied to her.

"You have no idea." It was Ironhide. He was listening.

"What the fluff man, don't you dare tell anyone got it." he assured it and left apparently. Holly went to go get Jayjay, when she came back Ironhide was normal.

"You look-" he cut me off with a shush. 'You look normal' I broadcasted to him. Then he scowled at me.

"You look normal now." K.T. just figured it out.

"Took ya long enough." 'Ya' what kind of word is that?

"Okay so he can say that to K.T?" I was a little miffed.

"I can't control him, but I can you." Hornet looked straight at me, "plus I can't control what boyfriend and girlfriends say to each other." just then K.T. smacked Ironhide in the head.

"I knew that was coming." he scratched the back of his head. Holly came back again with Jayjay the silky sifaka lemur, last of its kind, he reminded us of Julius so we named him Julius Junior, or Jayjay. Jayjay crawled all over me, and batted Ironhide's nose. Then he went and crawled on him, and Ironhide saw I killed Jayjay but brought him back. Jayjay was popular and went around having everyone pet him then Holly had to take him back along with N°1. Ironhide left us their, but Dino had his ship come and bring us home. Ironhide was gone. Later he came back and had Sideswipe; Butler had his gun pointed at Sideswipe just incase.

"Looks like you didn't succeed." yeah maybe, or maybe I was bluffing.

"I didn't plan on hurting Happy." Ironhide shot me a look that could kill. He threw Sideswipe to the ground and Night Fire; K.T.'s sister came and picked him up. Ironhide was so confused so I had to explain to him that Sideswipe was Night Fires retracer the real one. He did not believe me, big shocker. However, my suspicions were confirmed. So I sent Ironhide a little I told you so.

I was pacing in my room and Ironhide asked what was wrong I was truthful when I said nothing, but he was in my head so I told him I had a plan to stop Opal and not to tell Butler he agreed. So I hid in a bush and waited Huffer and Hubcap were guarding Hubcap looked like a scared little kid. When Huffer found me Holly _mesmerized _Hubcap to tell Huffer to let me go, then she _mesmerized _Huffer and told him we were never here. We walked around for a little bit then Blurr told someone and he caught me. I was knocked out for the millionth time. When I woke up, I started saying D'Arvit, which is gnomish for fuck, and then Blurr called Opal a slut, not true but still satisfying. Then a women Preceptor called Neferet came in, started to control Blurr, and then while Preceptor was putting a chip in me Holly _mesmerized _Opal. Opal told Preceptor to let me go; I think he knew I was controlling Opal after that so that was a bust.

Ironhide seemed a little down in the dumps. Jetfire was trying to rekindle and was being controlled by Preceptor I think and Erik was now controlling Jetstorm. K.T. came into the kitchen and she was an orange cheetah.

"Ooh I can pounce on you know." she crouched getting ready to pounce when Bumblebee said she could get her powers taken away if she did yet.

"Yet," I confirmed. I walked up the stairs and something was in Ironhide's room so I opened the door, there was a big black and silver bear in the doorway. I slammed the door shut and thought a minute, that's Ironhide. So I opened it for him, he was as tall as Butler. He fell down the stairs and I just stared.

"You'd usually laugh." I nodded.

"I'm a changed man." I slightly smiled. Just then, I remembered what I was going to tell him. I ran down the stairs and grabbed hold of Ironhide, "Jetfire is being controlled by Preceptor I think, and Jetstorm is being controlled by Erik." he just shrugged it off and pushed me away with his claw. I started to fallow him around and shortly after T.J. and Cole came, saw Ironhide, and freaked out, I went and got Happy who freaked out until he found out it was Ironhide and then he rode Dino who was lying on T.J. and Cole. I sat in the grass and played spider solitaire and then a tan girl with brown hair came up.

"And who are you?" she looked down at me, "and what are you playing?" I was still playing solitaire with out even looking going lightning fast.

"Artemis Fowl, I'm playing spider solitaire." she told me her name was Kat. Then she joined me, after a few rounds Dino came back, I hope he found his necklace I found lying in the grass. He gave Kat a necklace, it was a gold heart with her name in silver "Nice necklace Kat." she looked down at it and smiled. She turned around to see Dino as a tiger; she kissed his fore head though. Ironhide came from around back.

"I fit through the back door." I smiled.

"I don't think they make bear doors though." I smiled slightly more. I turned to look at Kat. We were just talking about Butler.

"Butler is that tall." Dino points at Ironhide. "And his hand is as big and Ironhide's paw." Ironhide put his paw on Dino's head. "He's sucking my brain."

"You have nothing to suck." I do not think Ironhide's in a good mood.

"Now now I think that Dino here as brains I think." Dino looked offended at my attempt of a complement.

"No, Ironhide doesn't consider me a guy." I shook my head and thought, 'oh jeeze.'

"And you can't do anything to stop me about it." he put a claw under my chin, and I put a card in his hand, the Ace of Spades. "What's this?"

I keep walking but answered his question, "think about it, spade." and Ironhide starts laughing a fit over their and sticks the card in Dino's mouth.

"What the," he glares at Ironhide and me. "You two are sick." which just makes us laugh even more.

The next day/night I saw Snow riding a vicious looking horse. The other day/night I over heard Bumblebee and her talking about getting back together, I think I might help him out a little. I grabbed some rope and made reins for the horse I rode yesterday I think someone said his name was Speckals. I rode Speckals next to Snow.

"So, and don't think I'm being ill-mannered now but are you really thinking about what Bumblebee said or are you just going to say yes or no?" she looked over at me and I think she thought of me as an adult rather then an impolite kid.

"I don't know really, I have been thinking and I still love him its just," she stopped her horse. "The last thing my mother said to me before she left back to her kingdom, the castle I live, well lived in was James's. Anyway, my mother told me, she would have preferred me to marry a proper gentleman and someone who isn't Bee." she started to cry. "I know your trying to help Artemis but I don't think you understand how it feels when you own mother doesn't like your choices." I did though.

"I do Snow, I was ten my father went on a trip his last trip till he and mother would try to save the world. His boat sank and mother lost herself. She went insane, she wouldn't leave her bedroom, she forgot her only son, and she made a fake father." now I started to cry a little.

"I guess you do know how it feels," she looked at me and smiled. "You know what; you remind me a lot of myself. You have the raven hair, the pale skin, and the ambition I had." she smiled at me.

I wiped the tears from my face, "So, why don't we discus a little more say lunch, during the day today, so we don't have to worry about anyone finding out about our little chat?" she nodded and took off on the horse. I rode back to the orphanage. When I dried my tears, I took off my shoes, rolled up my pant legs, and stuck my legs in the pool for a while. As soon as I started to feel calm, as if cued, I am being pushed into the water. My first thought was, another suit ruined. Then I am wondering who did that. I pop out from under water; I have to move my hair out of my eyes. The culprit was a tall woman with blond hair and hazel eyes, just like Holly's, well one of them anyway.

"Who are you and what do you have against me, because frankly I have no clue." she stared at me for a while, and then laughed.

"I'm Emma Swan, and I have nothing against you, I thought you were someone else. Now you know me who are you?" she smirked at me. I wonder for whom she mistook me.

"I am Artemis Fowl the Second. I smoothed my hair back. "And, if you don't mind me asking, who did you think I was?" she cocked and eyebrow.

"I thought you were Rumplestiltskin. Sorry." she shrugged. I stopped thinking about what she was saying because I had to get my suit off.

"Well no harm done, I need to go change so, I'll just be going now." she stepped out of my way. I ran into my room, which alarmed Butler; I had no time to explain so I ran into the closet and changed into a white T-shirt and black jeans. I hung up my suit to dry, and left the closet.

Snow gave me a map that led to a big tree. "Snow?" I wandered the base of the tree for a while. "Snow, it's me Artemis." I waited a little longer, "come on Snow. If you don't show I'm heading back." their was a flash of brown in the leaves. One moment I am waiting for Snow to show, the next I am being pulled into the trunk of the tree. "What the," I started to panic, which causes me to yell for Butler even if he is not with in earshot.

"Calm down Artemis, it's me Snow." their was a dim candle lighting her face.

"You should've warned me." I straiten my suit and dust off my pants. "Anyway, have you thought about what you're going to tell Bumblebee?"

"You know you can call him Bee right?" I cock an eyebrow, "right sorry, yeah I guess."

"You guess or you know?" I keep my brow cocked.

"I know I'm going to tell him that we can try again." I nodded and waited for her to continue, when she didn't I had a few questions.

"What are you going to do differently this time then the last?" the question seemed to bother her.

"I am going to stick around more, be nice-ish, because if I'm too nice it scares him," she smiled a little, "and I will not be like my mother." I clapped once.

"And, feel free not to answer but, what do you see in Bumblebee?" I locked my hands and stared straight t her. She shifted on her stump.

"I think he's funny, kind hearted, sweet, and he'd make a great king, if only I was queenly." I clapped twice.

"You have had a brake through, and if he asks-" she cut me off before I could finish.

"You never talked to me." she smiled a little more. "Thank you Artemis, you've probably just saved my marriage." she took my hand I hers and shook it.

"It was my pleasure." I smiled at her. She helped me out of the tree and told me not to tell anyone about that spot, I gladly obliged. When we got back to the orphanage, everyone was still asleep but not for long, it was about dusk, great another sleepless night/day, yes I know that sounds weird.

"Artemis?" Snow whispered and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yes Snow?" I didn't want to look at her, her eyes were hazel just like one of Holly's.

"If you need anything, anything at all just ask, oh and before I forget, I think you and Holly would be great together." she went to her room and me mine. What did she mean by that, I took me a second to figure it out, but it can never be, because I lied to Holly and she probably will never forgive me for it? To sum it up, I blew it.

"Artemis, did you even sleep a wink last night?" Butler examined my eyes; they were blood shot and had bags under them.

"No Butler I did not sleep last night, all I could do was think." Butler rolled his eyes, he pretty much thinks all I do is think, scheme, and plan but I do so much more then that. Butler insisted I rest, but I refused. Over holo-message, N°1 and I talked about the complexity of our situation; we talked in gnomish of course, only Jack could understand us.

"You have a plan Artemis?" I shook my head.

"Not yet N°1 but I'm getting their, how's Holly doing?" I made it sound casual like a friend worried about another. N°1 was not convinced he raised a furry brow.

"Commander Kelp gave her a suspension for not bringing Opal in and for not answering his calls." I felt bad, it was half my fault I still had control of Opal, I could make her turn herself in and say that Holly out bested her yet again. Brilliant, yes, idiotic, defiantly, risky, we will find out.

"I'll have to call you back N°1. Next time can I speak to Holly also?" he nodded and signed out. I had a perfect plan; I just hope it will work. I went into my closet and grabbed the controller for Opal. "Opal, go to Haven, bring nobody with you, and turn your self into LEP. Tell them you were out bested by Holly Short yet again." I said into the microphone. I waited by the holo-booth, waiting for Holly or N°1 to call. You know what is sad. I got so used to Ironhide in my head, that when he is not annoying me, I feel alone. I know, it's pathetic. After what felt like forever, N°1 called.

"Artemis?" he looked concern, which was weird for him.

"Yes N°1 I'm hear, what's the news?" I wanted everything to be fine, but I knew it wasn't going to be.

"Holly is being tried for using the _mezmer _and might be sent to Atlantis." N°1 closed his eyes, "and Commander Kelp wants to see you ASAP, and Holly wants a word with you." I sat up, and dried my retreating tears.

"Yes, Holly?" my voice was hoarse.

"You sent her here didn't you?" I didn't answer, I couldn't answer it was too painful. "D'Arvit Artemis answer me!" she slammed a table in front of her.

"I only had the best interests when I did." I still didn't look into her mismatched gaze. "Please Holly, you believe my right?" I kept my head down so she couldn't see me crying.

"I do Artemis, but you interfered with an LEP operation-" I cut her off.

"NO! I have done that before why is now any different? Is it because I am older? Is it because I should still be mind wiped, or is it because I am and always will be a criminal?" I knew I was not the last one, but the People still had me as public enemy number one.

"Artemis," Holly sounded hurt, "it's none of those things, it's because Root is no longer Commander and Kelp is." I felt my heart tinge, Root, sort of, trusted me, and he paid for it, with his life. "Artemis, look at me." Holly sounded just like I felt, when I looked up Holly was crying as hard as I was.

"I'm sorry Holly, I've had zero sleep, and all of this has hit me hard." I dried my tears.

"Are you going to come?" Holly sounded like we were under water.

"I'll meet you at Tara as soon as I can.," we signed out, but I sat in there for a little bit, thinking. What would have happened if I hadn't lied to her? Would things between us be different, or would they be just as bleak. When I reached, Tara Holly was waiting for me.

"I'm surprised you came, I thought the LEP would have to hunt you down is South America." I knew she was trying to lighten the mood but things will always be complicated between us.

"It wouldn't have been South America, too obvious. Butler talked me out of flying the Fowl jet to Hawaii." I smiled hoping that would give away I was joking. Holly just shook her head but smiled.

"Well, a shuttle is waiting for the great Artemis Fowl." that title I used to carry proudly is now just a reminder of my failure.

"Best not to keep it in suspense now is it?" I did not say another word I didn't have to. The ride to Police Plaza was full of awkward silence between Holly and I. when we reached our destination a group of LEP officers were waiting for our return, Foaly was pushing his way through.

"Don't shoot, don't shoot, he's just here to answer a few questions. He might be in for another mind wipe if he isn't careful." That statement did not hurt me, it was true, and the People would be much safer if I was still mind wiped.

"Foaly! We do not mind wipe friends." Holly protested, at least we would always be friends.

"Artemis Fowl, Mud Boy." Grub Kelp, the Commanders brother said. "You didn't bring your bodygaurd?" Grub was terrified of Butler, but I did not even tell him that I was planning on visiting.

"No, he doesn't even know I'm here." I hung my head in pretend shame.

"I see, well Commander Kelp, and Commander Vinyaya are waiting for you and Captain Short in Kelps office." he looked a little less tense.

"Thank you Grub." Holly placed a gloved hand on my shoulder. "Ready Artemis?" I nodded. We walked into Commander Root's old office, one I am excessively familiar with. If I knew that when I was being mind wiped, and that was the last time I was going to see him, then I would have said good-bye properly.

"Looks like little Artemis has finally learned his actions have consequences also." Trouble Kelp chuckled to himself.

"I know my actions have repercussions why else would I be here, _with-out _Butler." Holly tugged at my shoulder.

"Because, you are a foolish boy who should be mind wiped and sent home!" Kelp was looking a little red, not as red as Root would get, _Beet Root_.

"Sir, Artemis is here of his own free will. Why don't you just ask him questions instead of threatening him, please?" Holly tightened her grip on my shoulder. "Plus, it would be hard for even _him _to explain the hazel eye." Holly had a good point.

"Fine, Artemis, were you or are you still controlling Opal?" Kelp raised an eyebrow. I threw the controller on his desk.

"Satisfied?" Kelp nodded. "Oh and Holly or Preceptor are the only two that can release her." Holly looked at me, I knew what she was thinking; _you never said that_.

"Now Holly, did you or did you not use your _mezmer _against Opal?" I threw up my arms.

"I told her to, she first refused to but I convinced her to do it, so blame me, mind wipe me, I don't care just don't blame Holly. It was all me." Holly took hold of my shoulder again. I hung my head again in shame.

"How bold of you Mud Boy, but she agreed to use it. She _is _to blame here not just you." Kelp looked like he was amused. "Since you said we could mind wipe you, I will take that into consideration." He disgusted me. All I could do though was stand their and take the blows as Butler had taught me, even though they were for real punches.

"Can I leave now Kelp?" I tried to hide my sobs.

"It's Commander Kelp to you Mud Boy, and yes you can, Holly you will accompany Fowl and then come back for further questioning. Again, we did not talk until we reached Tara.

"I'm sorry Holly." It was sincere, truly sincere.

"I know Artemis, but I have to accept the consequences." I stepped out of the shuttle and shook her hand.

"Till next time Captain." She smiled but I knew she was as scared as I was.

"Till next time Fowl." She brought me in for a hug. It was warm and excepting, and suddenly I did not feel alone anymore. All the way back to the orphanage I was thinking; _the consequences for being my friend. _When I returned I was tired, sad, and lonely all over again. Even with tons of people around me, I feel alone. I went to the back yard and put my feet in the pool again. 'I hope no one will talk to me today, which means you to Ironhide.' I thought. I think he got the message. Soon every one came outside, I just wanted to be alone is that too much to ask for? Yet again, I was pulled under water. Butler reached in and grabbed my attacker and me. Butler asked if I was okay, I was coughing up dirty pool water, but I was fine. My attacker was Ben Tenison I called him an incompetent imprudent buffoon.

"Do you even know what that means?" Ironhide was behind me.

"No, but I think it is an insult." Hornet, some one I thought hated me, had him leave. Only to bring upon his brut of a friend.

"May I ask who you might be?" I asked after he grabbed me by my shirt.

"Kevin Levin." ah yes, I have heard of him.

"Levin? Does that mean you're eleven for ever, if so you're doing a great job of it?"

"No. that's my last name genius!" his fist turned iron and hit me in the eye. Hornet walked me inside and gave me an icepack. While Butler threw Kevin into the pool, after he sucker punched him in the bottom lip. Ben apologized, said he didn't know Kevin would do that. Ironhide put him in a closet. I went back outside, I haven't slept in days, and Butler was worried about my well-being. Someone was at the door; no one seemed to be troubled by it so I answered it. It was someone for Ironhide, I was so tiered I didn't think he was a threat, but he was. They got Ironhide; I was too tiered to care. When they got back, Dino was trying to get me to sleep.

"I'm not falling asleep until I know…hey Holly." I went up to my room and peeked out the door. Dino, also concerned, shoved sleeping pills into my mouth; little did he know that if I take sleeping pills I am knocked out immediately. When I woke up, I still felt alone except for the voice in my head. Kelp showed up and threatened to take me in, Hornet wanted to use magic to make him leave and never come back. Bumblebee was shaking his head no, I on the other hand was saying yes. The magic he used was like a _mezmer. _Foaly showed him the _mezmer _by using me as the guinea pig. I was outraged Foaly seemed to enjoy it. Later Minerva called and asked to come over, I tried to talk her out of it, but I couldn't. When I introduced everyone she realized who and what they are. After she left Damian and I were spitting word after word at each other. Jetstorm came in and had I knife, I knew he shouldn't have that but I had a plan. Damian was getting nervous, I told him to stay calm in French. Ironhide came in and took the knife away from Jetstorm.

"And you're telling me to be calm!" Damian was furious with me. We protected him for as long as we could. I was almost frozen to death, like in the Artic. Finally, he was gone. I had a plan, but it was risky. Holly, Damian, and Ironhide went down to Haven to get Damian cloned, Foaly was more then happy to. Ironhide and I went back to the orphanage where it looked like all hell broke loose. Kat was mad at Dino, so was Bumblebee. T.J. and Cole took Hornet for a drive; I tried to stop them only to be repaid with scratched on the Bentley. Which Ironhide fixed. Later Dino decided he was going to kill Spike I tagged along to help. Dino kept missing Spike, so I helped by shooting him with a Neutrino 3000. Knocked out cold. Dino was going t stab him when a bird stopped him, Hyper Speed. She shooed us away, but Dino wasn't done. He told me to shoot Hyper Speed with my gun, which I did. He killed Spike, and we went back to the orphanage. I think Ironhide was mad at me for hanging out with Dino, because when it was time to pick up the clone Ironhide told me to take Dino, so I did. We set up out little scene in Damian's bedroom, real Damian was in the basement. Jetstorm wasn't fooled by the fake, that time I was almost roasted. Jetstorm ended up fighting enough to break the connection. I was relieved. Dino had a cube and was planning to leave I stopped him.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"To my house in Story Brooke, no one likes nor wants me here." he seemed bummed. I waved an envelope in his face, "what's that?" I told him how I got Kats records, I really didn't want to tell him but I had to. I told him that Kat was supposed to find them and take them into the FBI, but she didn't. Then his dog took the file and gave it back to Kat, who ended up fallowing. Ironhide and K.T. came too. They were supposed to be planning a date. I told Hornet they weren't. Dino ended up staying. I talked to Ironhide for a while.

"I wouldn't want to be in your mind it's full of K.T." I really didn't care for his thoughts.

"No they're not," we kept arguing back and forth until I got what I needed, the memory Ironhide said he would never tell K.T. about. I threatened to tell, he kept saying I loved Holly, not totally true or false. I went up to tell her, when Ironhide jumped me and covered my mouth. I bit down and grounded my teeth into his finger. When he let go I went up and touched K.T. sending her that memory. She ran back to her room and locked the door. When I turned around Ironhide punches me in the jaw, broke it. I used my magic to fix it. He kept saying I loved Holly, I was sick of it. I went down the hall and broke down Ironhide's door and I punched him in the jaw, he punched me back then threw me out. That's when I felt even more alone. I got over it. Ironhide went to put his hours down and never came back. I walked around town for a while and over heard Ironhide talking to Shadow. That's when I realized that Happy wasn't safe without Ironhide. Therefore, I decided to become his guardian. I went into my room and pulled down some Cybertroynian books, I called up N°1 to translate. Dino's dog took it. Later Dino came back and I was looking at another book. He said it was the prophecy, and Jetfire and Jetstorm were part of it. We decided to track down the author she knew Dragon and me. She was in Ireland once and was a vampire. I left after a while; I found Ironhide and got a black eye for my troubles. I just iced it. I left as soon as I was dry. Kelp started to harass me and scared a little girl, who was Ironhide's daughter. Ironhide called Butler who pulled us apart. I went down to Haven only to be sent to Atlantis. It took about three hours for Holly to come down and get me out. When I got back to the orphanage, I decided it was time for Butler and me to leave. When we got home, Mother, Father, Miles, and Beckett were gone. Juliet was the only one home. I flew the old plane in the garage. After awhile I get a call from one of Butler's friend from the FBI saying that they found an Autobots. I rushed right over to find a black car with no driver parked in front of a gas station. I sat on it then Butler sat next to me, which made the back of the car rise. Dino gave in and we got off. We talked for a while, mostly about my love life problem. I told him that interspecies dating would just be awkward for the both of us. He pointed out that his wife was a human; it almost made me feel better. I wanted to tell him I lied to Holly, which was the big problem between us. I trust Dino, so maybe its time to tell him. Then the FBI showed up.

"Don't tell anyone, or I will hunt you down." he threatened

"I look forward to seeing you soon, Spades." I knew he wouldn't go through with it. I waited in the driveway of the orphanage then Dino showed up, I told him I was only staying until after the inspection. It looks like Kat has failed to mention that the inspection is today, and hasn't told anyone. This is a time bomb waiting to blow. Just because Butler has a friend in the FBI doesn't mean he will let Kat sly just because she's a friend of ours, Kats on her own here, but I think with Butler and me here that he might just pull her off the case. The only option I don't like is that he will take Kat back with him, but I won't let that happen.

"Hey look, it's my adoptive little brother." I think Snow was talking about me.

"Uh isn't Robin Hood bad enough?" It's bad enough that I have twin two-year-old brothers, one who thinks he is me the other refuses to wear a diaper.

"That's what Bee said." I agree with him, for once.

"Plus I'm only going to stay until Kat's inspection is over with." wow I'm doing things for other people, ever since I found out about Haven I've been nicer.

"Well at least have a cookie, I made them," I made a face, "don't worry, they're not poisonous." I smiled faintly.

"Okay." I shrugged and ate one of the cookies that were on the plate. It wasn't until I swallowed the rest of the cookie, that I realized they were peanut butter cookies. I'm allergic to peanuts. I started to cough, and then I was choking, and then wheezing. The last thing I remember was feeling alone again, no one with me.

When I regained conscious, I thought I would still be in the orphanage, with every one looking down at me, and Ironhide with a big grin. I imagine he is probably wishing that I would never wake up. Instead, I was in a hospital.

"Butler, my chest feels funny." I groaned, hoping I wasn't alone still.

"I know Artemis, it will get better. You gave me quite a scare." he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry Artemis, I had no idea." Snow rushed from the other side of the room and held onto my hand. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I thought that I wouldn't have to." Butler cut me off.

"And you didn't think to even pack your epee pen?" I shrugged it hurt.

"He's awake, Butler you were supposed to get me when he did." Holly was standing in the doorway. "You've escaped death once again Fowl, I think you luck might be running out." I smiled, just seeing Holly brought it.

"You and me both." I tried to sit up.

"Artemis, you can't leave for a while, the doctors want to know if your one hundred percent better." Butler put his hand on my shoulder again. "I had to run all the way here, I almost past out." Snow nudged him, "oh and K.T. had a seizure." my eyes went wide.

"How is she doing?" Holly walked to the head of my bed.

"Artemis, she's in a coma." I felt so bad.

"I want to know when she's better." I tried to sit up again, but was put back down.

"Okay Arty I will let you know on any improvement." _Arty_? She called me Arty, maybe she forgives me. On the other hand, is just being sympathetic.

"I bet Ironhide is throwing a party considering I almost died." I stuffed my face in my pillow, it smelt like mold.

"Artemis! Don't say that, Ironhide is still your friend." Snow squeezed my hand. I didn't believe her; I knew he hated me, that wont change.

"Artemis Fowl the second how are you feeling?" the doctor seemed certified, but too happy.

"Yes doctor, I am feeling one hundred percent a-okay." I gave him a thumbs up. Butler shook his head.

"He said his chest hurt when he woke up." he gave me a light pat on my head.

"I see, well that's perfectly normal for a child you age." _Child_? He called me a child; Ironhide would be busting a gut right now.

"I am not a _child _I am a genius, and I would be more than exultant if you would let me go home." I tried to sit up again, only to be shoved back down this time by Holly.

"Keep him as long as you need, he could use the R and R." Holly patted my shoulder.

"You must be his girlfriend." I was speechless.

"Uh no we're just friends, mutual friends." that's what I thought.

"Okay, well visiting hours are over. Artemis, you'll be out in a week, minimum." _a week_? Oh, no. my friends left and now it was just me and the doc. Why did I have to get mad at Ironhide?

"Hey Doctor, um do you know anything about K.T.?" he gave me a funny look.

"Their's no one here by that name." did they put down her real name? Now I was confused.

"How about uh," forgive me K.T. if I butcher your name, "Kahlie Trust?" I was hoping for good news.

"Oh yes her, she is still in a coma after your mountainous friend brought her in." Butler didn't say he brought both of us. "He had you in his arms, Kahlie was over his shoulder." wow he didn't just save my life he saved K.T.'s as well. "Now, its time for you to sleep good night." now, I'm completely alone.


End file.
